We had been dating or a while, maybe a couple of months – I can’t remember exactly. anyway, one day while we were just sitting, not doing anything in particular but just sitting and enjoying each other’s company I asked him……..
”do people fall in love or learn to love?”
He looked at me strangely and thought, this must be some kind of trick question. She must be testing me to see how I’ll answer. Well it wasn’t.
I was just curious.
I had seen couples so in love and then not in love, I’d witnessed marriages slow down, lose their flame and even lose love and I’d think to myself – what happened? Surely they must have fallen in love and that’s why they got engaged and married. I’m sure they fell head over heels for each other and that’s why they took that next step isn’t it – but what happened?
It’s hard to say, hard to understand…. but it happens.
I fell in love. Yes I was like that little puppy head over heels. Even after we married, our early years of marriage, I still was! 3 children later, a mortgage, worries, the grind of daily living I’m still in love but I have moved myself to the path of learning to love.
We’re so different. Of course he’s a man and I’m a woman. The way we were brought up makes us different, the way we think makes us different, the way we react to situations is different but isn’t that the beauty of marriage, of love?
Isn’t it here, in the safety of that marriage that we learn to love, embrace and accept those differences? Isn’t here where we see the big picture and choose to get on and stay on that learning to love path.
I’ve learnt that it’s a choice. And to make that choice is love……. And it is a choice that needs to be made daily.
He did eventually answer me – he said both. I think we fall in love first and then to make it work we learn to love……daily!
Happy Valentines Day!
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
1 Corinthians 13.